Long-term relationships always seem like a good idea at the time

Beers, Not Tears, After Trialing Break-ups

Thu, 01/19/2012 - 00:45 -- amber

Long-term relationships always seem like a good idea at the time… Until you breakup.

That two-year relationship with the man you planned spending the rest of your life with ended tragically, so now what? A woman’s first instinct is to call their best friend hysterical, or maybe go buy a furry friend to keep them company. Some may eat enough chocolate to kill a dog, and then watch The Notebook to tell their selves that love can rekindle after several years. Do all of these things for 24-hours, maybe, and then move on to better (and maybe BIGGER) things.

Grief after a relationship is normal, however, very over-rated. Nothing screams “I’m desperate and beside myself” like depressing song lyrics as your Facebook status and hibernating inside your house for weeks at a time. Give your Adele and John Mayer CDs a rest, get yourself dressed and go out with your friends.

Spending time alone and grieving can leave you well, alone, and very depressed. Soon you will consume yourself with this breakup and you will be absolutely miserable. Make yourself busy. Schedule some sort of social event or something that takes you out of your comfort zone every single night. This doesn’t include stalking your ex’s favorite hangout spots either. Surround yourself with positive people at all times and make yourself available for new experiences. Don’t play the whole, “I’m not ready to date again” card. That card is for quitters.

Go to the gym. Exercise releases endorphins, which make you happy. Exercise also makes you fit and thin, which in return raises your confidence. Let this breakup be a way to reinvent the new, hotter form of your self. You know who else goes to the gym? Hot, dateable guys who care about their fitness probably more than your ex ever did.

Retail therapy is a better way to spend your money than hiring a real psychiatrist. That handbag you have been dying for is calling your name. Or, buy a new outfit to wear out on the town that accentuates your best features and that will make heads turn.

If you act perfectly fine and pretend to move on with your life, you will be perfectly find and actually move on with your life. The key to moving on is moving on. As women, we tend to make things a little more complicated then need be. Let this breakup empower you to do all the things you couldn’t do if you were still with your loser ex.

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Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]