Getting Over It

Sat, 05/12/2012 - 01:12 -- jcartwright

Sometimes people leave, but they don’t really leave us. You wake up in the morning and think of them, you go to be in the evening and wish for them by your side. You know the story. You also know that you don’t have time for that.

Nobody does. One of the most important skills to have in life is the ability to leave things behind. The past is past. It’s never easy, but it is always essential.

So Stop Thinking about it already!

Easy enough for you to say! I know, like you haven’t already tried this. But really do. Give it a serious shot. When they come into your head, find something else to do. This is difficult, but it strikes at the heart of the problem…literally. This person is occupying your heart and taking up all your energy right now. You have to strike back! Take back your heart because the truth is it’s yours to give and no ones to take. I had a friend who told me that, for her, all it took was a yoga class and going out with friends every night. Before she knew it, she was over him. For myself, I write. The point of this is to realize that you can have love for more than this person. They do not define you. You are larger than that.

But I can’t stop

Instead of compulsively checking your Facebook, email and twitter, try writing a letter. Write a letter that you’ll never send. Get it all out on paper. The point of this exercise is to turn all the time you’re putting into moping and do something creative with it. If you prefer to write a poem or a story, that works too. An artist friend of mine drew a portrait. Seems like spending hours staring at someone’s face wouldn’t help you get over them, but it worked for her. Do anything you can to turn all the energy you’re putting into regret and wishing and turn it to something else.


Reconnect with old friends. Make new friends. Put more energy into maintaining the friendships you already have. Friends can be a wonderful support when you’re trying to get over someone. They can amuse you, counsel you and take your mind off things. Have them tell you stories about their own breakups; get some perspective. As well, the excitement of reconnecting with old friends and making new friends is one of the best ways to refocus your energy.

The Important Thing to Remember

The one thing that you must remember through the whole thing is this: you are more than that. You are not only the person who was once in a relationship with your ex. You are not only the person who was in a relationship with your ex. After a break up you feel as though all that matters is that one person. The whole trick is realizing how false that is.

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James Cartwright

Just like to write about sex and relationships!